Matti Karel

American dating in 2007

Well I think i finally figured it out. I am a woman. I am predisposed to romantic notions of dating and am more than a little old fashioned due to my upbringing. And i was pretty sure that there were still some people out there like me with these more traditional methods of courtship. I was wrong. No one goes on dates anymore. When was the last time you or someone you know was asked on a DATE, before something else had happened between that person and the potential "datee." No one dates, we just go to a bar and pickup whoever and whateever happens, and then maybe or maybe not we "talk" without appearing to like that person, just making ourselves avialable enough to appear slightly interested. Sad. Then we wonder why this action may result in our "mate" looking for something better. I had a comment from Angela about mate guarding. It was a very interesting concept. She said that reason for infidelity in today's society isn't due to human nature but due to our lack of mate guarding. This means we are paying less attention to our mates then we used to. We dont bother with notions of romance and often both have jobs that extend well over a 40 hour workweek. It makes me wonder how people used to survive so comfortably on a single "mate" income. Maybe due to the raping of our paychecks by the government..... So today we seem to accept this as normal. Our "mates" take a back seat. What do we tell ourselves... "I have time" "he is ok" "i will just let it go" I really dont find OK acceptable, but sometimes I find myself doing the "settling" on my own. Today is is acceptable to see the person you are dating only once a week if you live in the same town. Today it is acceptaed to "ignore" the object of your desires... otherwise they will think you are "too easy" or possibly even "psycho." Today it is viewed as "weak" to admit you are wrong or submitting to the desires of your signifigant other. Today it is ok if the only activity you and your signifigant other do together is sex. Today we almost expect to be disappointed. Today a "date" was a good one if they called you back... sometime. 2007 dating cycle: 1-go to bar/pool hall/ book club/etc.: dress in the percieved "attractive" plummage of whatever we think will attract the attention we want. 2- Meet prospetive mate and size up due to physical attributes, personal tastes or how well their clothing displays certain aspect of their anatomy. 3-Try to converse with, stare at, or ignore prospective mate without being obvious. 4- make some sort of contact 5- Small talk.... yawn. 6- Connection! This usually occurs first with the lips... the rest of the body usually follows. Especially due to amount of alcohol consumption. 7- Potential exchange of phone number(s) or morning small talk. 8- Wait for callback or agonize over calling this potential- if this doesn't occur it was bad, or you did something icky and get over it. 9- Small talk on the phone... big yawn. 10- repeat steps 4 through 10 until step 8 doesn't happen... then sorry, your cycle is over. Start from the beginning and good luck. Today it is accepted to not put effort into things reguarding our "mates" with the excuse "if it is meant to be it will be." How lazy we have become. i continue my disgust over how every new invention I seem to see is there to make us lazier than before. Lazy with technology and instant gratification and lazy with our relationships. Welcome to 2007. i do not know if this explains why todays relationships are so pathetic and short, but often i have seen this as true. Well DAMMIT i am not going to be lazy. But then if you are like me and not lazy how do you start to introduce romantioc notions on today's playing field of dating? Is there no answer? Are we doomed to this current state of dating! Ideas and solutions would be wonderful, cuz that is all i have.

Posted at 04:33PM Aug 15, 2007 by Matti M Karel in General  |  Comments[3]